On the Evil Dead remake

Yes, it was recently confirmed that Sam Raimi, Rob Tapert and Bruce Campbell will executive produce a remake of the first Evil Dead. In a moment of true geekdom, heeding the words of Groucho Marx that "if you have anything of importance to discuss, go to the top," I sent an email to Bruce Campbell. Here it is for your reading pleasure.

Mr. Campbell,

I'm sure you've gotten plenty of these emails recently, but since I couldn't get the webmaster of DeaditesOnline to put up a petition that we could all sign, I thought I'd just have to fill up your email box like everyone else.

In a recent interview Mr. Tapert said, "As long as we stay true to what was the original model of the first Evil Dead, which was that we want to hurt and punish the audience, then those who love it will be satisfied." As a fan who buys every Evil Dead dvd edition that comes out and makes everyone who enters my dorm room check out my Evil Dead: Book of the Dead Edition signed by you, I am simply submitting that a remake that isn't directed by Raimi and does not star Bruce Campbell will never satisfy us fanatics. I may sound like a spoiled little punk who is simply procrastinating from doing his astronomy homework by complaining to you about a movie that hasn't even been made yet, but I can only assume that the impetus to make this film is the constant calls for Evil Dead 4 from spoiled little punks like me. If that's the case, I'm sorry we bug you guys about it so much. The problem is that even if this remake gets made, I'll be standing in line to see it on the first day 'cause that is the very nature of being a geek, and it'll probably make loads of money, but that doesn't make it right. I think its simply the humble side of Mr. Raimi that makes him think the film is important to so many of us because of its name and premise, this is not the case. The film is important to so many of us because of Raimi's own personal brand of genius filmmaking, your charisma and physicality, and Tapert's odd desire to see women raped by trees or tied up in chains and led by skeletons.

If Sam really wants to do it, I respect that, obviously he can do whatever he wants with the franchise, but if he is doing it because he thinks he is giving us what we want, please tell him that I, and all my friends, humbly reply, "Thanks, but no thanks." The trilogy already contains enough terror/joy for a lifetime.

-Isaac Pingree

Santa Cruz, CA

PS If you're really set on doing the remake, at least let me direct it.

There it is. Unfortunately, I fear that we will soon have a garbage version of Evil Dead to go along with the horrendous remakes of Texas Chainsaw and Assault on Precinct 13. I will now go cry.